Stop holding yourself back, because if you don’t, you will be in exactly the same place NEXT YEAR! Harsh, but true!
Are you ready to move on, step up and stop telling yourself the same stories?
When is enough, enough?
The simple answer is you’re not ready until things have got bad enough for you to say “enough“!
I’m going to share with you why enough was enough for me, why one simple question when asked was what I needed to finally take action and where I am because of it.
Where holding myself back started…
For years I have worried about what other people think, should I say how I really feel, do people want to hear what I have to say, is it important, relevant and more… I consider everything I say; I always have. BUT, will people understand, take it in the right way… Does this sound familiar?
In business terms, should I write that blog, create the video or record the podcast? Who will listen read or watch, people don’t get me?
As an introvert in an extroverted industry pushing yourself, your message, products, and services it all becomes SO overwhelming that nothing happens.
No business comes in.People forget who you are and what you can do for them, cut you out.
The thoughts and feelings get so mixed up and loud in your head, detached and devoid of what you want to achieve, it sends you back into the routine of telling yourself the same stories only posting as and when you have time or feel the confidence to do so.
That’s not us, that’s not you.
You’ve started your business or are in this career for a reason… Get back to basics.
Being scared of marketing isn’t about doing the marketing, it is about putting yourself out there for criticism, ridicule and opinion. It’s about stepping up, knowing yourself and owning it unapologetically.
We want to be different, be seen as diverse and be noticed, but we don’t put ourselves out there to be seen…
The Curve Ball
Running a business is hard enough, but when life throws a curve ball on top of it, how do you deal with it?
It can be your demise or your salvation! Your choice!
2018 wasn’t a good year for me personally. I lost my Dad and mentally wasn’t in a good place. I had a mask on but wasn’t coping very well behind it. But you and I know, life and business still have to happen.
I felt choked, lost and numb but in the background, I’ve always known I am more and wanted more from my life. This awful situation before me, put my whole life in perspective.
This wasn’t about anyone else but ME; who I was, what I wanted from life (and business) and how I was to move forward from where I was. I’d lost the first man in my life and it simply took my breath away. I wrote a blog about my Dad which helped, it was cathartic > 9 life lessons my Dad taught me.
At this time in my life was when I realised that life is too short to;
do the things you don’t want to do
be with the wrong people
work with clients that don’t get it
put myself under pressure and become stressed
Life is tough, and I think about my Dad every day. I know he is still with me and spurs me on to keep doing what I’m here for.
In January, I was asked a question, but this question is a question I’ve been internally asking myself for around 7 years. I’d played around with the idea of doing something but didn’t know what to do or where to start. This question when asked, kicked me in the chest so hard at that moment I knew “now is the time”, so I made it my mission to confront it and move on.
But why hadn’t I done anything about it before? Why now?
The simple answer is because I wasn’t ready, things hadn’t got bad enough for me to say enough is enough until this point. I was uncomfortably comfortable with the stories I had told myself and moving forward was scary but the time had just arrived and 2019 was going to be different… It was only in my power to do so.
Whilst sat/stood (with a bad back) in Dundee waiting for a marketing conference to start, I was ready to listen, learn and then action, but before we got going, we were asked a question.
I knew what my one thing was… I’ve known for years, but I didn’t know how to go about removing and changing it… However, when you are open to change, the tools you need just land in your lap and say, here I am.
As of that moment, I made it my mission to move on with my one thing… Enough was enough!
I started to journal, so I was able to understand exactly what it was, when it made me feel at my worst and how to harness the essence of this thing. There were tears, fears, and uncertainty happening daily.
You see, when you are aware of your weaknesses (your kryptonite) you are then able to do something about it/them but until then the same story repeats, the same feelings, thoughts, perceptions, and patterns show up.
The question was…
What is holding you back?
More importantly… If that thing was fixed or sorted out, where would you be today?
It is only when you say to yourself enough is enough, something needs to change. What’s next?
This is when the journey begins.
There are many events, therapy, retreats and sessions I have been to, which I won’t go into here as it may or may not work for you, however, I am always happy to recommend the people I have worked with if you’d like to speak with them yourself.
In May, I went to Thailand to find myself and as cliché as that sounds, that’s exactly what I did.
Here is a small selection of the lessons I learned along the way…
This video is; 30 minutes 38 seconds and was recorded for our Koogar Academy Members (parts of the video have been removed)
It’s that point when all you can do is surrender to what has been put in front of you. The only way forward is to stare your fears in the eye and say…
I see you; I feel you; I hear you; I love you
…and accept them for what they are and accept you for who you are.
You need a team of people around you that will help you, not judge you, hold you, be therefore you (whenever you need them) but also hold you to account when you’re not doing what you need to do so you can find your true self and flourish! There are not many of these people around, but when you find them, keep hold of them and cherish them.
Thank you Chris!
Chris asking me (and everyone else) the question when he did, was the right time. It’s not like I haven’t heard that question before it was because I wasn’t ready… So, I’m going to take Chris’s message and pass it on to you as he did to me…
What is holding you back? And if that thing was fixed or sorted out, where would you be today?
Because I tell you now, when you address this, things will change.
Your life, your business, your boundaries, your confidence, the people in it, the type of business you want to do and the type of clients you get… The list is endless!
The level of clarity goes from 20/20 vision (or less) to HD!
Chris, thank you for asking the question when you did, I needed to hear it! Keep asking that question as those around you may need to hear it again and again!
This truly goes to show that a message needs to be seen, heard, read, watched or listened to between 7 – 15 times BEFORE a person is ready to act on it.
The reason why they don’t take action is because of several things; they may not be ready, they may not hear the call, it might not be relevant.
Keep going even when it’s tough, you don’t want to or think people won’t be bothered.
The reason is because the world needs to hear your message!
Choosing the right Marketing Consultant to work with can be a difficult decision, so I have written this blog to help you choose the right Marketing Consultant to work with by understanding more about them and what they can do for your company.
In the past you may have;
been burnt by someone who promised everything and delivered nothing
worked with someone who said they were doing one thing and did something else entirely or the complete opposite
found that the person/company you had been working with has lied to you and not done anything for the budget you have paid them
taken on someone who just didn’t get what you do and just marketed in the wrong way
Which has left you feeling a little sceptical and un-trusting of the people out there who call themselves “marketers”.
However, you may not have walked this journey yet, but want someone to help you from the start of your journey to ensure you’re off on the right foot.
How will I know if I need a Marketing Mentor/Consultant?
You need a Marketing Consultant when you want to build your business by;
improving relationships and loyalty with your current clients
attracting new customers
or want to expand into new markets
You may not know which goals should be set within the business and you may need help to set well-defined goals which in turn will require a solid strategy and marketing plan with both short- and long-term goals.
You’ll possibly need help monitoring key metrics to measure your success, as you may be uncertain which key metrics should be measured or are unsure about how your current marketing efforts are working for you.
What is the difference between a Marketing Strategy, Plan and Calendar?
A lot of people get mixed up with all three or do one instead of all of them.
The Strategy (is the what)
is a set of goals you would like to achieve in or with your business
A Plan (is the how)
is the actions you are going to take to achieve the goals you have set
A Calendar (is the when)
is the organisation of your plan and how you are going to execute it
Sometimes what we think we need, isn’t actually what we need.
Which is why you should speak with a Marketing Consultant to get some guidance on your thoughts and ideas.
What does a Marketing Mentor/Consultant do?
The definition of a Marketing Consultant…
…is someone who assists marketing managers and directors in coming up with focused branding, positioning, and marketing tools for each product or service. Working within the client’s budget to produce effective promotional materials and advertising opportunities. Tracks sales and feedback and adjusts marketing strategies as necessary. (From Wikipedia)
A Marketing Consultants’ role is to come into your business, learn about you and your company quickly, along with what you would like to achieve with it and put a strategy, plan and/or calendar into place and help you implement it (if you require them to do so).
Some Marketing Consultants…
will get hands-on within your business, depending on their skill set and how involved you would like them to be
won’t do the work for you, but will find the right people and bring them together to enable the implementation to happen
The role of a Marketing Consultant is to:
create a strategy, plan and calendar for you or your team to work from based on what the business goals are
keep you on track and accountable to help you take action and achieve the results you want
ensure you are implementing the plan and calendar by hitting the deadlines set
be there for you when you need their support
give you plenty of new ideas
bounce your ideas off them to make sure they are in line with your strategy
bring their experience to your table
Most marketing consultants will work with you for a set period of time or within a project you have and/or project manage your plan for you or with you (depending on the size of your team)
They should also tailor your strategy and plan just for you and your business.
There is something you really need to know…
…all marketers have not been made equally!
There is no blueprint or shortcut for every business to just put in place.
What do I mean by that?
Here are 3 things to think about, which will help you choose the right marketing consultant.
1. Which skill(s) do you need your Marketing Mentor/Consultant to have?
Every single marketer has different skills, qualifications and experience within the field of marketing, which means their understanding of marketing isn’t the same. Also, the type of marketing they do and HOW they do it will be different.
Let me put this another way. Have you ever said something to someone, and they have replied in a way you didn’t expect or didn’t reply at all? This could be because their understanding of what you said was different to what you meant and or their understanding of it. Otherwise known as “Semantics“.
It happens to the best of us! Communication breaks down, which is where expectations and understanding goes out the window.
For example; a consultant who has spent a lot of time within the traditional side of marketing may not have as much experience within the digital arena. If they do have digital abilities, what kind do they have? Web, S.E.O., or Social?
If Web, where they an account manager (client facing), a designer (design and user focused) or developer (coding)? All of which have a very different skill set, each with their own merits.
Let’s go further into it…
There are Marketers who are;
self-taught and started up their own business to help others based on work they have done for someone else
tag it onto their current offering
have all the qualifications but no hands-on experience or results to show for it
haven’t got qualifications but started when the Internet was in its infancy and climbed there way up the ladder
a mixture of all of the above
All of which could be really good and really bad at what they do.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
Please bear in mind, I’ve not written blog to poo poo how people have learnt or deliver marketing. I’ve written this so you can see we are not all bad people and that we are ALL different.
Stick with me, all will become apparent!
2. What kind of marketing help do you need?
Before thinking about working with a Marketing Consultant, you need to think about the type of work, help or support you are looking for, so you can identify the right person or company for the job.
Here is a list of a few marketing methods. Which do you need help with? (If it isn’t mentioned, jot it down on your note pad to save for later)
Is it a strategy, plan and calendar that you need? Do you need to start from scratch or review what you have and go from there?
Someone to do your social media for you (hands on) or show you how to do it better (deliver in-house social media training)?
Do you need someone to keep you accountable and ensure you get everything done inline with your strategy and business goals?
To work with your and “hold your hand” so to speak?
Implementation? Want someone to implement everything for you? – some Marketing Consultants can do this, but probably via third parties and introductions (depending on their skill set) These type of Marketing Consultants know exactly where their skills and weaknesses lie and bring in the experts instead of trying to do everything themselves.
A website review, rebuild or S.E.O (Search Engine Optimisation)?
Look at your Ads on Facebook or Google
Obviously, depending on what kind of help you want depends on who you take on to work with.
It could be all of the above and more but the point of this is you for you realise WHAT kind of help you need before looking for a consultant to work with. When you know what you need, its easier for them to help you.
The marketing consultants who stand out will be the ones who have the particular skill set and experience you need!
What are you expecting from working with this Marketing Consultant?
The final thing to think about is your expectations. What do you expect from the marketing consultant, the marketing itself (when implemented), yourself with regards to how much you are going to commit?
You need to set those before your initial chat or meeting to ensure you know what you want from the new relationship you are about to make and that you are with the right person.
If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed. ― Sylvia Plath
This is generally where the problems have occurred in the past. Expectations that were set (or assumed) and were not met. So, to help you choose the right person, set your expectations but bear in mind they may not be realistic and please don’t take that the wrong way.
Most things can be done, but they could take more time and potentially more budget, depending on which activity(s) we are talking about.
The biggest thing to you need to make sure is that you don’t assume certain things come as standard.
When setting expectations for yourself and others follow these steps;
Make them clear for yourself. Know exactly what you want from the relationship you’re about to go into.
Understand why you need these things. Why are they important to you? Is it a deal breaker if they cannot do X,Y or Z?
Meet and discuss them with your team and the marketing consultant you are meeting
Write them down and take them with you to your meeting
Seek clarification to ensure they are accepted or not
Get agreement and commitment from the people you are about to work with
The marketing consultant you choose should also do the same for you and should go through your expectations with you to make sure you’re all singing from the same sheet.
If your reason is because of working with someone in the past that didn’t work out, the reason why it hasn’t worked out is because your promises were not met.
Set them from the beginning so you have a base to work from.
Now you know when you need a Marketing Consultant, what they can do for you and your company and the difference between a strategy, a plan and a calendar answer these 3 questions to help you choose the perfect Marketing Consultant for you. It’s not an easy task but something you should do the research on, so you are in the right hands.
Here are the 3 steps again:
What kind of marketing help? – Understand the type of help you require. List it out so you have a clear idea.
Which skills do you need? – Ask the person or company involved the skill set(s) they have to ensure they fit in with the needs of your business
What are you expecting? – Set your own expectations so you are clear on what you want from the people you will be working with
Clarity is something we search for daily. When you have it, its easier to move forward.
I hope this blog has helped you gain more clarity on choosing the marketing consultant for you.
How can Koogar help you and your company?
Most of the time we sit with potential clients who are looking for Social Media help or a Marketing Plan as they believe they are not utilising it as best they could. This could be for a number of reasons; for example; they haven’t got the time, are unsure of what to say or how to find the clients they are after.
They are also after brand awareness because no one in the local or surrounding areas know that they exist or they want more business.
Our clients want to be seen and found when they are needed by their perfect client.
ALL businesses are different and as I’ve mentioned before, there isn’t a blueprint out there that will help you get what you want however there are process and exercises that every business needs to go through to get the results they are after.
The way in which you complete those process and exercises are different for the type of business you have and the results you want.
Marketing doesn’t get you business, marketing gets you awareness. It’s what you do with that awareness that then gets you the business!
At the end of every year, it is only natural for us all to look back on the year we have just had and forward to the year we strive for, personally and business wise, especially when you are a Business Owner, MD, Director or CEO.
We want to reflect to see if we achieved what we wanted to for the last 12 months as well as remember what happened to us during the year.
If it was positive or negative.
Generally, we always remember the negative, which is why reflection and planning is a great thing.
Remembering your past year helps you see where you have come from (past) and to (present) and where you would like to go (future).
We also look forward to the future to plan for our days, weeks and months ahead for the new year. Working out if we want to carry on with our unactioned goals or make new ones in their place. At times, whilst we do this, we also scorn ourselves for not achieving more or being more in hope that the new year will be different and bring the fruits of our labour.
During the festive break I listened to a Podcast which inspired me. It said;
Are you making probable goals or possible goals?
Probable being goals you know you can achieve by a certain time.
Possible being goals that are possible but probably not within the next year.
They went on to say that “anything is possible”. Which is true.
Here’s what happened next…
I took this quote and thought about it more.
The meaning of possible is “able to be done or achieved”.
Yes, anything is possible!
But the question I asked myself was… Have I been setting possible or probable goals?
The answer is, I haven’t been setting goals that are possible I have been setting probable goals. Ones I believe I can achieve. Some of them I don’t finish or even start them due to a change in priority or that age old excuse of time.
When I read, listen or watch something, generally I remember a few key parts which I want to action. I believe there is no point in learning lots of new things if you don’t put that learning into action.
So, moving forward, if this is the “one thing” I take away what am I going to do about it and or because of it.
Which got me thinking…
Something that Gary Veynerchuck said in a book and in many videos. It’s not about achieving the goal (or in his case, buying the New York Jets).
It’s about the journey, not the destination…
Christmas Eve 2018
On Christmas Eve I went live into the Integrated Marketing Society. Koogar’s free group for Business Owners and Marketing Managers wanting to get ideas, inspiration and motivation to market themselves better.
I went on to ask the following questions in the group. 11 questions to help the members reflect on 2018 and plan for 2019…
Q#1: What went well in 2018?
What did you do really well, what went well? Sometimes we don’t actually ask ourselves that question. To be fair, most of the time we don’t ask that question to ourselves. We remember all the negative stuff, but we never actually say, “You know what? I’m going to pat myself on the back, I actually did X, Y and Z. amazingly well!“
Q#2: What surprised you the year?
What came out of the woodwork that you were just like, “Oh my god, isn’t that amazing?”
What opportunity landed on your desk?
It could be a negative thing, let’s say. It could be that a relationship ended or you had an amazing opportunity that came up and just changed the way in which you do business.
#Q3: What did this year teach you?
Did it teach you good things or bad things?
Did it teach you that you’ve got bad habits?
Did it teach you that you need to do more with something or someone?
Sometimes we don’t realise the lessons that we’ve learned over the year until we reflect.
I’ve certainly have learned some lessons over this year and have done every year I have been in business.
They help you become the person you are. They make you stronger. They make you more resilient to change.
#Q4: What have you observed? What have you noticed?
Have you seen a trend that’s happening? Is there an attitude or an arrogance? What’s going on within your location, industry or network?
Have you noticed that the way in which you do business has changed or your attitude toward your business has changed? Have you grown in a different way?
Q#5: What needs to be left behind?
There is some stuff this year that you just need to park, bury or just throw away.
Whatever it is, write it down.
Is it an attitude that you have towards yourself, towards other people?
Is it a relationship?
Is it something that’s just not working for you and you think, “I need to change the way in which we do this.
Q#6: Finish this sentence off > 2018 was a year of … What?
2018 was a year of … What? Was it a year of pain?
Was it a year of great business, great relationships, amazing opportunities? Was it a year of learning?
All of these questions actually you can utilise for yourself personally as well as for your business.
These six questions are questions that are all about last year (in this case 2018 and how it served you).
Has it served you well? Did you enjoy it? Did you not enjoy it? What could you do better? What could you change? Think of all the positives, it’s not about looking at the negatives and regret and worry and putting yourself down. We are already hard on ourselves.
This is about saying to yourself, “Okay, this is where I am, and this is what’s got me here.”
Just take a moment to have a look at and observe what happened to you over the last 12 months.
Q#7: Where do you need to go next?
Where’s your journey? Where is it going to take you? This is all about 2019.
Where do we want to go? What do we want to do? Who do we want to do it with? What’s next? Where is your next step going to take you?
Is it still in the same thing that you’re doing now or is it in something completely different? Is it something that you want to add/tag onto what you’re currently doing?
Q#8: What are your top business goals for 2019?
What are your top business goals for 2019? Do you want to triple your profit/turnover, or do you want to get fifty or a thousand more clients?
Do you want to take on a new member of staff? Do you want to take on a PA to just help you do all those little bits and pieces that you don’t really want to do?
REMEMBER: create possible goals not probable goals!
Q#8a: Have you ticked off the business goals that you wanted to achieve last year (2018)?
I’m assuming that you created some last year, but have you ticked them off?
The reason why I’m asking this question is because sometimes we need to look back to see how far we have come.
Some of the goals you set haven’t been achieved, like I said before, due to priorities and opportunities that have arisen. Just check on what you set yourself last year to see how well you have done against them.
Q#9: What do you need to learn in 2019?
Is there something new that you need to learn? Is it a new piece of software or technology? Is it a new behaviour, sales or marketing?
Do you need to learn how to market something in a particular way? It could be that you want to learn more about Social Media or that you want to learn more about your website and how it could work better for you. *Check out our events
What do you need to learn in 2019 and where do you need to go to learn it? Can you do it online? Can you go to a course? Can you go on a conference? Where do you need to go to learn it?
Q#10: Finish this sentence off > 2019 will be the year of …
What does that look like? You will do, be, have or want what?
Is that part of your goal or is it something different, something separate to what you want to do?
Q#11: Finish this sentence off > In 2019 I will do more of …
This could be personal, or business related…
What will do you more of in the new year and how is it going to affect or help you achieve the goals you are setting for yourself and others?
So, there you have it… 11 questions.
Every single person I know is already looking at their goals for 2019, if not completed them already. If you haven’t done them that’s cool. The time is now.
What one word will you take into 2019?
2017 was the first time I choose a word to take into the new year and it was “commitment”.
Commitment to my business, myself, my sport (rowing), my squad, my relationships.
What is the one word you will be taking into the new year?
I’ve realised that my word for this year (2019) is “Consistency”.
Consistency in the gym, our own marketing, the way I do business, food choices.
Have a think about what is it that you want to want to achieve over the next couple of years, not only just for 2019 but in the next couple of years.
Since November, I’ve been looking at my 1, 3 and 5 year goals helping me to plan my future not only in business but on a personal front too. Where will you be in 5 years’ time and are the goals you are writing down today moving you towards them or away from them?
I have answered these questions myself over the last few days, personally and professionally.
I listened to some music whilst I did it and also, I did it with someone else. Once we finished, we then read them out to each other and talked them through. It was powerful and emotional I can tell you.
This is what I listened to whilst answering these questions:
Reflecting and planning enables you to see where you have been, know where you are today and project where you are going in the future.
Without them, you will keep doing what you’re doing without knowing how you are doing, if you are doing it as best you can or how to progress.
The final step!
A lot of our thinking happens below the surface of consciousness and we may not be fully aware of what we think or how we think on a regular basis as it can become habit. Therefore, conscious thinking, reasoning, and logic can only get you so far in self-improvement.
Using rituals, you can suggest thoughts to your subconscious mind without needing to access it directly.
The final step is a 5-step process
Write down all the negative things on a piece of paper
In turn read them out loud
Set them on fire
Watch them burn and float away
This may sound strange and maybe something you’ve not done before but it’s very enlightening.
Reflecting and planning can be hard and a sobering process, but it allows you to leave some things behind that you don’t need to take into the new year.
Feel free to leave a comment below to let me know how you get on, what you noticed when doing it, how you felt and what you are going to do because of answering these questions.
Every client I meet recently doesn’t take action because of one thing… Kryptonite!
What does Superman have to do with excuses?
Kryptonite = Excuses
When exposed to Kryptonite for long periods of time, Superman will experience severe muscular weakness and excruciating pain, with both progressively intensifying and eventually leading to death.
Excuses are the same. The more you expose to yourself (or others) to why you are not doing something, it makes you believe you are not good enough, the ego kicks in, which drains confidence and motivation thus leading to stagnation.
During the first session with clients, all we will do is ask questions (a lot of questions) and listen.
The best way I can describe it is; listening to a message they have encoded in the words they use.
If you listen to someone with intent and actively, you can hear what they are actually telling you without them actually telling you.
Sounds strange, I know…
I find that every client we have worked with are waiting on something to be completely PERFECT before they move on to the next stage or step in the business, when in fact they could still do the thing(s) they want to do, without waiting for the original thing to be perfect…
Let me put this into context for you…
We have many clients who don’t want to commit to the next steps because they are waiting for their website to be ready, to change a logo or some content on a particular page or add a new email address to the list that they already have.
Clients who are waiting on other people to come good on a deal or promise before taking action because they believe the person they are waiting for are pivotal to the next step in their business when in fact they are not.
People ask us for specific type of training (usually to do with Social Media with a particular intent for it) as they believe that by learning about it and doing it, their business will change go in a different direction, get all the clients, the money or resources they want in the business when in fact they need something completely different AND more importantly carry on doing what is working for them.
Business can still go on, but they are waiting for that thing (whatever it is) to be perfect.
There are many stories we can share but these 3 are the most common we come across.
The problem is, is that they (including you) are not listening to themselves.
And guess what happens…
Their web designer takes months to get back to them to change the logo and when they do they have to pay over the odds to get that little thing done which then puts more pressure on the business because it’s been on hold waiting for this one thing.
The person they have been waiting for no longer has the confidence, funds or resources to carry out the promise that they made, leading to the trust in that person and the relationship to sour.
Or, they have the training they asked for and nothing has come from it because the very basics in their marketing hasn’t been addressed like brand, website or knowing why they set up in the first place. They are looking to a new “shiny” activity they are not currently doing and think it’s the answer.
Now I’m not saying that this happens all the time, what I am saying is that there are steps that can still be made while you are waiting for things to happen, and in case they don’t happen you need to have a contingency plan, so you are able to carry on regardless and not think your business is over because that person or marketing method didn’t come good.
Now neither of these things may have happened to you or all might have. What I’m saying is stop giving yourself an excuse to move forward.
What is an excuse?
An excuse is a reason or explanation given to justify a fault or offence. This involves blame…
So, what is the difference between a reason and an excuse?
A reason is an explanation of why something is the way that it is. This involves accountability…
A massive difference!
How to get rid of the excuse(s)?
The excuse can be disguised as fear of failure, denial, fear of success and your life changing (thoughts like; “what will other people think of me” come to mind) or it could be lack of confidence in one’s self.
What we need to do is dig deep and do 2 things;
Ask yourself; What is actually holding me back from doing what I want to do?
Acknowledge the thing(s) that you have noticed
Now you don’t have to do anything with it JUST yet… You may have just shocked yourself into a lightbulb moment or a realisation (that you’ve known for a long time but buried it) …
Either way you are now aware of it!
The final step is this;
Find someone that can help you get over/move forward from the thing(s) that is holding you back…
There is a caveat…
I’m not saying that once you know what that “thing” is, and you have found the right person to help you, it will go away… It may not go away for a while or ever…
However, now that you know your weakness (or your Kryptonite) you are able to deal with it better, learn some techniques that will overcome it or manage it better.
The excuses will come and go and the more you keep telling yourself the same thing or something else the further away your dreams will go.
The action I would like you to take is…
Take responsibly for your actions, stop blaming others for theirs, grab the bull by the horns and shape your destiny.
The choice is yours!
What excuse are you telling yourself today to stop you moving to where you want to be?
It could be that you need to learn a new skill or outsource part of your work… or something else…
Take the time to understand WHY you keep telling yourself or others about these excuses so that you are able to get further faster.
When you know what your Kryptonite is, leave the comment below, “Kryptonite DESTROYED!”
Late in the night on Saturday 26th May I received a very brave call from my little sister who lives in Bermuda, to inform me that the man I call Daddy had passed away.
Devastated was an understatement!
Without hesitation or thought, a plane was booked to leave in the next 72 hours and everything was cancelled.
This man was the very first man in my life, bought me my first teddy bear (Mr. Ed – who I still have today) and although we spent years apart (over 3,000 miles away) we saw each other every 2 to 3 years. He came over to England to see my sister and I, brought us gifts and that smile.
My god, that smile could be seen through the crowds of people dashing through Liverpool Lime Street Station when we went to pick him up. EVERY time I saw him, even when he couldn’t see me, my eyes welled up with pure joy and then he’d see us and give us the biggest hug a Dad could give.
He also had a certain smell, like we all do, but my Dads smell was one that reminded me of home.
Bermuda was where I was born and although I’ve only been back 3 times since I left at the age of nine and three quarters, to this day I still consider Bermuda as my home.
My family is a very large family (apparently one of the largest on the island) and I had a lot of people say to me “Girl, I haven’t seen you since you were this big…”, “My god, don’t you look like your Daddy…”, “It’s good to have you home…”
On the 4th June 2018, we buried my Dad in the Daniels plot in Devonshire and over 300 people; family, friends and work colleagues attended the funeral to come together, say their good byes and to also celebrate his life.
My brother James read the final poem in the Order of Service, which is called “He is Gone”.
I received the poem by Richard Blacklock of NutriBox Meals, who sent it to me via a private message on Facebook as soon as he found out my Dad had passed away. Richard and I have only met once, which was a few years ago when I delivered some email marketing training, but we kept in touch since.
Although the title sounds harsh, the poem was very apt. and James gallantly read it perfectly to the congregation.
He is gone…
You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Thank you, Richard, for sharing. It meant a lot! Not only for your condolences but for paying it forward as I know the poem was sent to you when you lost a parent.
I was privileged enough to be asked to design my Dads Order of Service, included in it were many family pictures, tunes he loved like Bob Dylan and Smokey Robinson; Crusin’, which was played as he was carried out of the Christ Church by his son, cousins and nephews.
As I walked down the aisle after my Dad, I watched as the whole congregation swayed to the music, which was just perfect!
Who was he?
The reason why I have decided to write this article about the most incredible man I call Daddy, is because of how he led his life. As, I’ve mentioned before, there were over 300 people in the Christ Church and many told me some amazing stories about my Dad.
Saying that “He changed my life”, “Michael made me who I am today”, “He told me I could do anything, and I did!”
My Dad was a master at his craft and most who knew him, knew perfection was the only way.
As a Matre D of over 40 years, when working in the Fairmont Southampton Princess, he strived to make it THE best hotel on the island. He trained hundreds of people how to serve, what to say, how to dress, how to hold a glass right and if I’m honest all 3 of my siblings have the same thing engrained within them. We are possibly the worst group of people to come to your restaurant as we can spot things a mile away!
Daddy expected the best from everyone, and if they didn’t know how, he would happily show them and teach them how to do or be better. Not only did he want it for every person he met in his family, in his hotel, that he spoke to, he wanted it for the world.
And I may add that this type of person is a dying breed. Are you this type of person?
My Dad had his own blog and set it up in 2017 when I was last over there at the age of 73 (so don’t ever tell me you are too old). He only managed to publish two posts last year, and of the two he wrote, he was so right!
Service isn’t how it used to be… We should want it to be better not only for our clients but for ourselves.
Life Lessons from my Dad
As I look back on my Dads life and what he achieved for himself, his family and for me I know I take away so much from him and am so grateful that he was my Daddy.
He gave me diplomacy which is the biggest thing I can take away, he wasn’t one for shouting, he was always calm with a quiet voice. The quiet voice I also have, along with double-jointed knees and the smile to some extent but there are 9 other life lessons that will stay with me forever personally as well as being taken into my business.
1. Treat them like they are the only one in the room
I can tell you now, most of my cousins will say that they were my Dads favourite! And they would all be right.
2. Everyone likes to be treated differently
Everyone is unique; The Director, Spike Lee ate dinner in my Dads office once as he was being pestered by other people in the Hotel… I know because on my 16th birthday my Dad got him to call me to say Happy Birthday knowing how much I love movies! That was a great day!
3. Be the VERY best you can be at WHATEVER you do in life
So that people remember you even if they need you from something else entirely. My Dad was the go-to guy, he knew EVERYTHING about the island, where to go, what to do and how to get there…
4. Take your time to get it right first-time round
Giving people your time is one of the most important things that you can do…
They will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel – Maya Angelou
The Bermuda National Gallery read this out as part of their tribute to him. My Dad, once retired was a volunteer at the Gallery every Monday.
5. Apologise, even if it isn’t your fault and learn from it
When something goes wrong, the person who it happens to will never think its them to begin with, which means you must take it on board, be the better person and fix it for them. It’s all part of the service…
6. Always look your best, you never know who you may meet
Most of the guys at the hotel worn ties, my Dad wore bow ties when he was on duty. It’s far better be over dressed and stand out, then it is to be undressed and stand out!
7. Don’t settle for things to be OK, make sure that they are fantastic…
Even if it takes a little more work from your side – If you are not happy with it, why do you think someone else would be. Even if they don’t know the difference, you do!
8. If you’re not sure, say so and then find out
Don’t be the smart mouth, nobody knows everything… nobody!
9. Know your industry like the back of your hand and become exceptional
Do you want to be good at everything or exceptional?
I know which I want to be remembered for!
Some people said my Dad was rough on you/them or hard at times… I would say he was meticulous!
He is and will always be one of the most important people in my life, he was the first man in my life, his spirit lives on in me and others in my family.
This is my tribute to my Dad, Michael Daniels and what he gave me over my life. He was and will always be a legend.
I would love to hear from you… What did your Mum or Dad teach you when you were younger AND that you still use day to day in your life and or business.
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