Stop holding yourself back

Stop holding yourself back

..Stop holding yourself back!(1)

Stop holding yourself back, because if you don’t, you will be in exactly the same place NEXT YEAR! Harsh, but true!

Are you ready to move on, step up and stop telling yourself the same stories?

When is enough, enough?

The simple answer is you’re not ready until things have got bad enough for you to say “enough“!

I’m going to share with you why enough was enough for me, why one simple question when asked was what I needed to finally take action and where I am because of it.

Where holding myself back started…

For years I have worried about what other people think, should I say how I really feel, do people want to hear what I have to say, is it important, relevant and more… I consider everything I say; I always have. BUT, will people understand, take it in the right way… Does this sound familiar?

In business terms, should I write that blog, create the video or record the podcast? Who will listen read or watch, people don’t get me?

As an introvert in an extroverted industry pushing yourself, your message, products, and services it all becomes SO overwhelming that nothing happens.

No business comes in. People forget who you are and what you can do for them, cut you out.

The thoughts and feelings get so mixed up and loud in your head, detached and devoid of what you want to achieve, it sends you back into the routine of telling yourself the same stories only posting as and when you have time or feel the confidence to do so.

That’s not us, that’s not you.

You’ve started your business or are in this career for a reason… Get back to basics.

Find your why? – discover it, own it, live it and breath it.

Being scared of marketing isn’t about doing the marketing, it is about putting yourself out there for criticism, ridicule and opinion. It’s about stepping up, knowing yourself and owning it unapologetically.

We want to be different, be seen as diverse and be noticed, but we don’t put ourselves out there to be seen…


The Curve Ball

Running a business is hard enough, but when life throws a curve ball on top of it, how do you deal with it?

It can be your demise or your salvation! Your choice!

2018 wasn’t a good year for me personally. I lost my Dad and mentally wasn’t in a good place. I had a mask on but wasn’t coping very well behind it. But you and I know, life and business still have to happen.

I felt choked, lost and numb but in the background, I’ve always known I am more and wanted more from my life. This awful situation before me, put my whole life in perspective.

This wasn’t about anyone else but ME; who I was, what I wanted from life (and business) and how I was to move forward from where I was. I’d lost the first man in my life and it simply took my breath away. I wrote a blog about my Dad which helped, it was cathartic > 9 life lessons my Dad taught me.

At this time in my life was when I realised that life is too short to;

  • do the things you don’t want to do
  • be with the wrong people
  • work with clients that don’t get it
  • put myself under pressure and become stressed

Life is tough, and I think about my Dad every day. I know he is still with me and spurs me on to keep doing what I’m here for.

The Question

In January, I was asked a question, but this question is a question I’ve been internally asking myself for around 7 years. I’d played around with the idea of doing something but didn’t know what to do or where to start. This question when asked, kicked me in the chest so hard at that moment I knew “now is the time”, so I made it my mission to confront it and move on.

But why hadn’t I done anything about it before? Why now?

The simple answer is because I wasn’t ready, things hadn’t got bad enough for me to say enough is enough until this point. I was uncomfortably comfortable with the stories I had told myself and moving forward was scary but the time had just arrived and 2019 was going to be different… It was only in my power to do so.

Whilst sat/stood (with a bad back) in Dundee waiting for a marketing conference to start, I was ready to listen, learn and then action, but before we got going, we were asked a question.

I knew what my one thing was… I’ve known for years, but I didn’t know how to go about removing and changing it… However, when you are open to change, the tools you need just land in your lap and say, here I am.

Take my hand and let’s go on that journey…

Chris Marr from the Content Marketing Academy asked the question to all 200 delegates sat there waiting to gain pearls of wisdom and ideas, but you could see HOW impactful this question was as it rippled across the room.

As of that moment, I made it my mission to move on with my one thing… Enough was enough!

I started to journal, so I was able to understand exactly what it was, when it made me feel at my worst and how to harness the essence of this thing. There were tears, fears, and uncertainty happening daily.

You see, when you are aware of your weaknesses (your kryptonite) you are then able to do something about it/them but until then the same story repeats, the same feelings, thoughts, perceptions, and patterns show up.

The question was…

What is holding you back?

More importantly… If that thing was fixed or sorted out, where would you be today?

It is only when you say to yourself enough is enough, something needs to change. What’s next?

This is when the journey begins.

The Journey

There are many events, therapy, retreats and sessions I have been to, which I won’t go into here as it may or may not work for you, however, I am always happy to recommend the people I have worked with if you’d like to speak with them yourself.

In May, I went to Thailand to find myself and as cliché as that sounds, that’s exactly what I did.

Here is a small selection of the lessons I learned along the way…



This  video is; 30 minutes 38 seconds and was recorded for our Koogar Academy Members (parts of the video have been removed)

It’s that point when all you can do is surrender to what has been put in front of you. The only way forward is to stare your fears in the eye and say…

I see you; I feel you; I hear you; I love you

…and accept them for what they are and accept you for who you are.

Be you.


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Because that’s all you can be.

For those who don’t accept it, don’t matter!

You need to know, you cannot do this alone.

You need a team of people around you that will help you, not judge you, hold you, be therefore you (whenever you need them) but also hold you to account when you’re not doing what you need to do so you can find your true self and flourish! There are not many of these people around, but when you find them, keep hold of them and cherish them.

Thank you Chris!

Chris asking me (and everyone else) the question when he did, was the right time. It’s not like I haven’t heard that question before it was because I wasn’t ready… So, I’m going to take Chris’s message and pass it on to you as he did to me…

What is holding you back? And if that thing was fixed or sorted out, where would you be today?

Because I tell you now, when you address this, things will change.

Your life, your business, your boundaries, your confidence, the people in it, the type of business you want to do and the type of clients you get… The list is endless!

The level of clarity goes from 20/20 vision (or less) to HD!

Chris, thank you for asking the question when you did, I needed to hear it! Keep asking that question as those around you may need to hear it again and again!

This truly goes to show that a message needs to be seen, heard, read, watched or listened to between 7 – 15 times BEFORE a person is ready to act on it.

The reason why they don’t take action is because of several things; they may not be ready, they may not hear the call, it might not be relevant.

Keep going even when it’s tough, you don’t want to or think people won’t be bothered.

The reason is because the world needs to hear your message!

Namaste.